Tag Archives: WOTD

Anomalies.

1 Feb

Monopoly.

Au gratin.

Onomatopoeia.

Abnormally.

Origami.

Cacophony.

Apostrophe.

Saskatchewan.

Say them out loud. They’re fun to say, but not often used. Especially apostrophes. Which also irritate me. Those who can’t use apostrophes should be stripped of the privilege of internet usage.

I’m not normal. Perhaps you’ve noticed. That alone makes me an anomaly.

But wait…there’s more!

I’m not a morning person, but with my work schedule, I now have trouble staying up past 1am. If I’m not a morning person and I’m not a night person, am I even a person?

I’m not the 99%. I’m not even the 1%. I’m just 1 person, which makes me 100% myself. And compared to myself, I am totally normal.

But compared to all you weirdos, I’m an anomaly.

For example, I don’t drink alcohol…don’t even desire to.

Iridescent. 

I wear skirts like it’s the unbreakable rule, except the truth is that I really do it because I want to. It makes me feel pretty, and like most girls, I like to feel pretty.

I have had the same best friend for two decades, yet I’m only 23 years old. That’s because loyalty is my strong suit, and loyalty is my downfall. I hold on to people long after they’ve walked out of my life. I also hold on to receipts, almost-empty favorite lotions, and cell phone pictures of every wonderful meal I’ve ordered at restaurants.

The front door I walk through every time I go to work and return from shopping ventures is the same door my parents brought me through when I was a newborn. I haven’t moved. I haven’t moved out.

Misconstrue. 

I’m always right. Which means you can’t always be right. Unless you’re agreeing with me.

I rarely brush my hair. After it’s washed, I run my fingers through it a few times, and that’s it.

I go to church three times a week. That’s why I have every single Sunday off and why I don’t work on Wednesday nights.

Sometimes my brain sends me a picture of what I’m trying to say, instead of words. When I force words out anyway, they come out jumbled and I get really frustrated and stop talking.

Effervescence.

I wear polka dot knee socks with striped shirts. In public. And I smile to myself at the kindergarten girls who are jealous of my rockin’ style.

I make my bed every day. That way I know one thing in my room is neat.

I’ve never liked my thumbs and toes. Ever.

I don’t like compliments. I have a high enough opinion of myself that when someone tells me something nice, I feel like it’s boring and repetitious because I already knew that about myself.

Spontaneity.

I like to smell my hair. In fact, I switch up my shampoos and conditioners every day to spice things up.

I have a mole on the back of one of my ears. I didn’t discover it until I was a teenager. Seriously, who looks at the backs of their ears?

I drive stick shift and change my own oil, when the weather permits. Oh yeah, and I’m a girl. Girls are capable humans too.

Immensely.

I live in a bakery and I’m not obese.

I take daily multi-vitamins. They’re gummies. Because somewhere inside me is a five-year-old girl who is still completely infatuated with candy.

Regardless of my age and maturity level, I do not and will not like peas. Not by themselves. Not in soup. Not in mixed veggies. Only in the trashcan.

In order to stay hydrated, I drink flavored water. Often it is carbonated as well. Clear, tasteless water is for those who are more committed to hydration than I am.

Astronomically.

Inordinate.

Ricochet.

Serendipity.

Chasm.

Volatile.

Plethora.

Expand your vocabulary. One word at a time. Try one word a day.

Speaking of koalas…

2 Oct

…I have another totally random list of things pertaining to my life at this time.

– It’s so cold around here that I went out and bought several new secondhand long-sleeved shirts….only to come home and remember that I had a box full of them from last winter. I shall be well-clad this winter. If my memory lasts that long.

– Being a fan of Bath and Body Works on facebook pays off. I’ve gotten two free lotions so far. I am a lotion lover, I must admit. Current favorite (as of August) is B&BW’s Summer Vanilla Lemon. Second best ever! So far.

– Best ever lotion was B&BW’s True Blue Moroccan Sweet Fig and Argan Oil lotion. Sadly, I didn’t discover it till it was on clearance. Happily, it was on 75%-off clearance, so I bought four bottles for the original price of one.


– My sister almost burnt down the state of Wisconsin while making popcorn. Hilarious. And exaggerated. I think there was just smoke.

– My best friend is coming back to PA for a few weeks in a few weeks. We’ve got plans for while she’s back. Mostly movies and talking and coffee and laughing and packing and figuring out how she can be here AND in South Africa at the same time.

– Dunkin Donuts has sold bagel twists for several months. Now we also sell dipping sauces with the twists. My favorite dippers for the sauces are untwisted bagels though! Crunchy-toasted poppyseed bagel for the honey mustard sauce. Everything bagel for the ranch sauce. Wheat bagel (and most others actually) for the marinara sauce. Insane amount of carbs, I’m sure.

– I smashed two of my fingers between a 30-lb. box of coffee beans and a metal counter. Probably wouldn’t have been so painful if I hadn’t slammed the box down with energetic fury.

– The word of today is mussitate. From the same root word as mutter. It’s speaking without vocal chords. Mouthing words. It’s what makes “elephant juice” sound like “I love you.”


– Pizza World is gone. And I want to go to the new Mexican restaurant that took its place.

Happy October 2nd! This is what guarantees that my best friend and I talk at least once a month: to wish each other a happy second! It’s usually a contest that she always wins because she lives 6 time zones ahead of me in South Africa. But while she was in the states this past year, there were a few times that I actually wished it upon her first. So have a happy second!

Elephant juice, blog readers! May the liquid content of large mammals be good to you!

Origins of the Sayings

1 Jul

Unusual catch phrases catch my ear, not my phrase. I ponder what they mean and how they came about and who first said them. Upon such things ponder I.

Today’s word of the day is “hunky dory.” You may very well ask the question, who is Dory? What makes her so hunky? And why is this now the way that one says things are going okay?

I do not have THE answer. But I do have AN answer. TWO answers actually.

First of all, forty two. Because I bought a copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy on a recent excursion to Ollie’s and because I just read that particular chapter today. Chapter 27 of course.

The second answer requires a narrative. One that you most certainly have not heard before because it is one that I am currently making up on the spot.

Once upon a time, on the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets lived a young lass by the name of Dorothy. Those close to her (which was pretty much everyone on the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets) called her Dory.

On the left side of her head she wore half of her hair in a blue ponytail holder that was in line with the top of her left ear. Her hair stuck out approximately 15/16ths of an inch away from the ponytail before it began to slope gracefully down towards her left shoulder, ending with a ponytail with a length of 7 inches exactly. In her left ear, Dory wore one silver hoop that was one inch in diameter. Along the edge of the silver hoop was a series of hearts and swirls engraved into its shininess. Closest to the pupil of Dory’s left eye was a beautiful shade of green as if it had come directly from a magical sea of green fantasy. Farther away from the pupil of her left eye, the green faded into a perfect hazel color…the kind of perfection in hazel that can not be described, only dreamt about in the most subliminally sublime of dreams.

Such a description of the left side of her face can only leave a person in wonder at what the right side of her face looked like. Was it maimed? Blemished? Terribly unbecoming? You must realize that she is Dory. Therefore…..

On the right side of her head she wore the other half of her hair in a blue ponytail holder that was in line with the top of her right ear. Her hair stuck out approximately 15/16ths of an inch away from the ponytail before it began to slope gracefully down towards her right shoulder, ending with a ponytail with a length of 7 inches exactly. In her right ear, Dory wore one silver hoop that was one inch in diameter. Along the edge of the silver hoop was a series of hearts and swirls engraved into its shininess. Closest to the pupil of Dory’s right eye was a beautiful shade of green as if it had come directly from a magical sea of green fantasy. Farther away from the pupil of her right eye, the green faded into a perfect hazel color…the kind of perfection in hazel that can not be described, only dreamt about in the most subliminally sublime of dreams.

She was hunky. That is to say, everything about her was satisfactory, well, right, and even.

This explains who Dory is and what about her makes her so hunky. But how did this become a catch phrase? No, do not google it or consult a word origins book. I, Amanda, shall tell thee what thou dost ask.

Anita was also a lass who lived on the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets. She awoke on the morning of the dim and dismal Monday and was painfully aware that her life was not like that of hunky Dory’s. No, her life was unsatisfactory, unwell, wrong, and uneven. Whenever she was asked about the well-goings of her day, her reply was inevitably, “Harumph, it’s not like hunky Dory’s.” And all those who lived on the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets knew what she meant and agreed.

The dawning of the dim and dismal Monday was also the dawning of a new day for Anita. Her first stop that morning was the jewelry shop on the corner of Fourth and Ernie Streets. A purchase of a pair of earrings was in order. After a short time, Anita spotted and purchased the ones she wanted. They were silver hoops that were one inch in diameter; along the edge of the silver hoop was a series of hearts and swirls engraved into its shininess.

When Anita arrived at her home at the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets, she discovered a package in her name. Inside was a wig with a two ponytails. Each ponytail was formed in such a way that the hair stood 15/16th of an inch away from the blue ponytail holder. Then the ponytails themselves draped gracefully down to where Anita’s hand held the wig and each was the perfect length of 7 inches.

Anita dashed all they way to her bedroom which was about two feet away from her front door since living quarters are so small on the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets. In the back of the bottom drawer of her mauve vanity set lay a carefully-stashed pair of contacts. They were tinted. When Anita completed her eyelid-prying maneuvers successfully, she had changed the color of her blue eyes. Closest to the pupil of Anita’s eyes was a beautiful shade of green as if it had come directly from a magical sea of green fantasy. Farther away from the pupil of her eyes, the green faded into a perfect hazel color…the kind of perfection in hazel that can not be described, only dreamt about in the most subliminally sublime of dreams.

With the wig atop her head, the contacts veiling her eyes, and the earrings adorning her ear lobes, Anita left her house for the second time that day. Fred, another resident of the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets, asked Anita how her day was going. And her reply was surprisingly, “It is perfect. I’m just like hunky Dory!”

A passerby, who did not live on the very populated corner of Fourth and Elmo Streets, overheard her remark. Later that day when said-passerby’s friend asked said-passerby how his day was going, his reply was, “Oh, it’s just hunky dory!” And since said-passerby was such a trend-setter, said-passerby’s friend followed the trend. Thus, hunky dory became less of a person and more of a state of being, all unbeknownst to hunky Dory.

And now you know.

List versus Novel

21 Jun

For the primary reason of time constraints, list wins. So here goes.

– The radio ads for Netflix make me laugh. They are so random that they make me happy.

– A customer used the word “hence” in his dialogue with me. If I hadn’t already rung him up, I probably would have given him a discount out of pure impressedness.

– The absence of my family has prompted me to turn my house into a center of production, to be interrupted only by the occasional party.

– Speaking of which, I can’t wait for Wednesday.

– And I’m equally excited about Thursday.

– And Friday marks the end of my reign as household queen.

– I tried to access my online bank account and it said that I had to choose another Social Security number (aka customer ID) because mine was already in use. Believe you me when I say that I made good use of their “contact us form.

– My car didn’t pass inspection. Yet. There is still more June left in which to inspect it.

– My brother has a blog now. http://www.bensblackbox.blogspot.com/ I am curious to see how well he keeps it up when he has no African adventures about which to blog. If he’s anything like me, he’ll be horrible.

– Last night I said “boo” and scared a friend of mine so scarily that her “Afro was like whoa.” And I think I quoted her exactly.

– The big yellow one is the sun. –Brian Regan

– I recently decided to begin receiving the Word of the Day via text. Today’s word was “heliolatry,” hence the previous statement. It has no relativity to my life at this moment.

– The new owners of Pizza World are awesome. And their pizza quality is on the way up.

– I have bored my own self with this post, but it was more fun than working. Definitely a plus.

Okay so this became a novel anyways, but at least the chapters were short.

Monkey See…

4 May

…but only when I unbutton my jacket. Otherwise it’s kinda dark in there. Here is a picture of the lining of my jacket.

lining

Adorable, I know. Lil monkey faces adorning my lining, peeking out at unsuspecting passers-by. I can still be a bit of a tyro when it comes to picking out the correct fabric for a project. I tend to see just its degree of prettiness or cuteness and not so much how the actual hand of the fabric (stiffness, propensity to wrinkle, etc) will fit the project. So I chose this monkey fabric to be the lining simply because it was a 9.7 on the scale of cuteness. I did not even consider how difficult it would be to stick my sleeved arm down a jacket sleeve lined with woven cotton fabric. It’s quite difficult, I assure you. However, my awesome clothing construction teacher informed me of its ineffectiveness in a way that didn’t make me feel like an idiot. Though I am. So I got a different fabric for the sleeve part. It’s just an off-white sheer fabric which is totally boring, and thankfully, hidden in the sleeves. All that to prove my point that I am a tyro. And even that, only to use that word. I’m a lost cause!

Oh, I just thought I’d share a recent infatuation of mine:

square-mug

Coffee-filled square mugs are absolutely awesome! As is chocolate toffee brownie biscotti. Just don’t overconfidently take a highly-energizing gulp from the wide side of the mug. I honestly didn’t make that mistake. I sip my coffee, so it lasts forever. I am only speculating what might possibly happen to you greedy gulpers. Beware! And go get yourself a square mug. And be happy. And don’t take my biscotti.

I’ll be bald….

5 Apr

…and you have spiky white hair. With these new roles fresh in your mind, read this comic from today’s paper. It is not written very grandiloquently; however, I found it to be funny and fitting. And by posting it, I’m probably breaking some copyright protocol for which I shall be hammered with all manner of slander and rotten eggs, taxes and royalties, and that inevitable rolled-up Walmart receipt (which can be quite the projectile, depending on your Walmart addiction). 

pickles-wotd

Arbitrarily the Andes

24 Mar

I have a lot to say (what is new?!) so bear (grrr) with me. I’ll try to keep it short-ish. You can measure the success of my thaumaturgy by the length this ends up being. 

First of all, a picture of a drawing I did. I figured it would capture your attention for at least a few seconds. It is an Andes mint that thinks it’s the Andes (as in like the mountain range.). Apparently the people near the Andes mint also think it’s the Andes. (Pretend this is written in the margin for no apparent reason…the reason I don’t post more often is because the only time I *have* time to photograph my artwork is at night when the lighting is atrocious. Believe it or not, this drawing was done on “white paper.” So it’s black on white, not grey on pink. Thought I should clarify.)

the-andes

Actually, it’s a three-point-perspective drawing of a small household object so that it looks like a 60-story building (61 stories was extra credit). And we all know how common Andes mints are in households (in my case, it was a display of greenness in celebration of St. Patty’s Day). I won’t go into the finer points of how to make a three-point-perspective drawing with vanishing points, because if you already know what I’m talking about, you’ll be bored out of your lil pea-sized brain. If drawing ain’t your thing, and this paragraph has left you clueless so far, my random explanation of three-point-perspective will only help to muddle your mind. 

Moving on…

So that drawing was for (drum roll…) drawing class! When I attended that class last week, one of the other students had a question while the teacher was busy. So he asked me. It was something about perspective again, and he was wondering if he had to measure or use a ruler or *what* to find a certain line for the drawing. Using one of my own drawings as an example, I explained how to draw that line by going really deep and saying, “That line is just arbitrary.” Then I stopped. My jaw dropped. I looked at him to see if he fully understood the significance of that moment. I had just used my favorite word in the correct context!!!!! He didn’t get the significance of that. Dunno why. 

If Ben was a chubby little four year old, this would be a “cutie quote.” He’s not. But what he said was still cute. I mentioned to him that one of my fellow painting class members works at Five Below in Whitehall. Ben said that next time he would go there, he’d walk up to her and say “My sister is the one that beat all of you in art class.” I cringed and begged him not to shame me like that because I’m not doing so well with painting. To which he appeared stunned and replied, “So there’s people better than you in painting class? Oh…..” (resounding “awwww!”)

Lastly (I think), I just wanted to alert/clarify/enlighten you with a short, non-credit course in Amandology. I tell time in ishes. Not dishes. Not fishes. Ishes. Some people tell time in quarters, others in minutes, and the nerdy ones get down to the seconds in inaccuracy. I alleviate any doubt by handing the wondering soul a bubbly ish. Their lil loveable soul wonders what time it is, and I hand them a big bubble of time under the name of ish.

It is midnightish in the most accurate bubble. It is 11:30ish for my mom who wants me to get to bed earlier. It is morningish for me who doesn’t care how late I stay up. It is 12:30ish when I want my little sister to be impressed with how late I was up writing a blog entry. It is none of these. Yet all of them. Happy 11:58pm!