Tag Archives: vehicular troubles

Per request

14 Jul

It has been with some gentle urging and prodding that I hereby make a guest appearance on my own blog. I have had no shortage of material about which to drone on and on. Time, however, has prohibited me.

To begin, I would like to expound upon a pet peeve.

“Me” is not a dirty word. It is the objective form of the personal pronoun “I.” Simply put, if I am the object of the sentence, “I” becomes “me.” See what I did there? I used correct grammar. Correct grammar was used by me. That’s easy enough if I use “I” or “me” by their own lonely selves in a sentence.

But the disconnect seems to come about when introducing a second party to the sentence. When Matilda and I went to grammar school, they doled out highest honors to Matilda and me, NOT to Matilda and I. Just like they wouldn’t dole out such honors to I, they would not dole out honors to Matilda and I. Do you see where I’m going with this? I am afraid that people are so tired of being corrected by us Grammar Nazis for saying “me and Billy Bob went a-huntin’ for varmints” that they equate “me” with bad grammar. It’s sad. If you catch yourself saying a preposition before bringing a personal pronoun into the conversation, you should probably use “me” and not “I.”

Remember this: I do awesome things, and you give awesome gifts to me. You and I are best friends, and people point and laugh at you and me.

*steps off soapbox*

*slips on soap*

*splats*

*picks self up, looks around to make sure no one saw that*

Totally unrelated to the slip, trip, and fall that nobody saw, I have a heart-shaped bruise on my forearm.

Isn’t it awesome?! It’s like a temporary tattoo from playing volleyball on Thursday. Which, by the way, was the perfectest day for volleyball yet this season. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold. It was overcast, but not raining. There was a beautiful sunset, yet the sun wasn’t in anyone’s eyes to prohibit awesome spikes. And best of all, there were enough people for two full teams plus one sub per team, so everyone could take a water break every six rotations, but not soooo many subs that anyone had to wait more than a couple minutes to get back onto the court!

In conclusion, I would like to share a couple anecdotes.

First, my hair has gotten so long these past few months! With the exception of the days where it is like 90+ degrees outside, I like to drive with my windows down. Unbeknownst to me, I have been shedding as well, so my long brunette hairs flew off my head and onto the carpeted/felty back part of my car that covers my trunk. (I will call this part of my car “the rear dash.”) However, when I was gassing up my car the other day, I noticed that there were long white hairs strewn all across my rear dash! I felt anger begin to rise within me. What AARPer has been taking my yellow car for joy rides while I was sleeping, and leaving their telltale white locks on MY rear dash?! Then it occurred to me….it was MY hair that the sun had bleached! There was also a dead wasp, who had finally baked after taunting me on many an early-morning ride to work.

Lastly, I was pulled over recently on one of those aforementioned early-morning rides to work. It was actually a morning that I’d left on time, and was hitting greens instead of reds, and there seemed to be less congestion on the highways, so I actually consciously chose to drive within the speed limit. Doing so allowed me to people-watch. Other drivers are sometimes really funny to watch! Sometimes they’re really infuriating to watch since the dumb fools think they can text and drive. I always honk at them. Always. Then I pray that they crash into an indestructible tree in such a way that they need all their fingers amputated so that they can never again text and drive and endanger the lives of thousands on the road.

But I digress. Back to my leisurely morning drive…. I was taking the on-ramp between one highway to the next, and I noticed a police car parked on the shoulder with his lights on. Out of respect and an innate sense of caution, I slowed down even more than my already-within-the-speed-limit speed. Merged onto next highway, continued the mile or so till my exit. The police car had turned his lights off and pulled out a few cars behind me. No biggie. I wasn’t speeding. I hadn’t cut anyone off. I used my turn signals for merging. I had my lights on even though it was only slightly overcast. I had current registration stickers, and my inspection still had about a month left. I had taken the body out of the trunk and scrubbed the blood dribbles off the bumper. Kidding. As I took my exit, I was thinking to myself about how glad I was that I’d decided not to speed that day. Aaaaand the police car was suddenly on my tail with his lights on.

On the shoulder of the exit ramp, I pulled over with barely enough room for other cars to get by, put on my hazard lights, and rolled my window down before turning my car off. I’m a pro at getting pulled over. Upon the officer’s request, I produced my license, insurance, and registration. After a looooong silence, he told me why he’d pulled me over. I have an after-market amplifier on my muffler, and I could get cited for that. I asked him if he was citing me for it, and he said no, he was just letting me know that I could get cited. So I did what any good female would do, and asked the man for his advice on what I should do. I can’t remember exactly what he said, for he was an older gent, with really long nose hairs which danced disconcertingly and distractingly as he answered my question. I don’t think it helped that I was looking up into his nose from my perch in my drivers seat. In any case, I was not ticketed or warned or cited. Just politely informed that I could get cited, and to have a good day, ma’am.

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A Tale of Windows and Speedometers

19 May

Have I ever formally introduced you to my car? No?! I apologize. Gender and name are still yet to be determined, but hey, don’t most parents have 9 months to decide on the name? Last Friday (the infamous 13th) marked my car’s 5-month anniversary with me. No, we didn’t go out for celebratory ice cream then, but we did have a little fun on Saturday! That story to follow…

First, a grand introduction! My sunshine/bumblebee car is a speedy lil 5-speed 1996 Mitsubishi Eclipse with a custom paint job, cold air intake system (that’s what he said!), a trunk that only stays open when it wants to, and a rather loud exhaust system. Tis grand indeed!

Tada!

I recently had to take my car in for a mechanic to “check clunk in rear.” Said clunk had begun clunking rather suddenly, which caused me due concern. Turned out to be a broken rear strut mount….whatever that is. It is now fixed, that’s what it is.

I also had the brilliant idea to have him check on my passenger-side window. It was spastic. Obstinate. Moody. Sometimes it would go down, sometimes it wouldn’t, and of course it was all the absolutely gorgeous days when that window would decide to stay up!

I was undeniably frustrated since the guy I bought the car from had specifically told me that he had fixed the passenger-side window. “Very fixed, hmph. Won’t even go down!” thought I.

“Window lock was on…” said the invoice from the mechanic who was kind enough not to charge me for “fixing” the window. Hey now, in my defense, all the other cars I’ve driven have window cranks, which can only be locked by maiming, paralyzing, handcuffing, dismembering, or otherwise impairing the hands that would crank the window. How was I to know my new car had a window lock?!

On to Saturday’s fun! I’ll give you a hint: it goes “WEEEEooo WEEEEEooooo!”

Time: an hour(ish) before my 3-11pm shift ended at the hotel.

Setting: torrential downpour.

(time lapse)

Time: 11:10pm(ish)

Setting: slow black sports car in right lane, followed by equally slow black Charger, being passed by a yellow and black car, in still-rainy conditions.

Introduction of characters:

–Unidentified Driving Individual – slowpoke in black sports car, undoubtedly updating his facebook status to reflect the following sentiment: “Just got passed by some woman in a yellow car, then passed her sitting on the side of the road…must’ve been one expensive ticket, the way she was flying!” (likely minus the correct spelling and grammar)

–Officer M – follower of said black sports car, driver of aforementioned black Charger

–Amanda – driver of speedy yellow and black car, recipient of the following warning: “Don’t drive so fast when the roads are wet.”

Conclusion: No ticket. Reduction of speed (for now). Knowledge of what a vehicle registration card looks like.

lovely driving

26 Feb

Who needs a destination when the adventure is driving?! I have a new (to me) car. Tis a lovely yellow and black Mitsubishi Eclipse.

It’s bright. It’s noisy. It’s speedy.

I know that driving is not a race, and there are no prizes for the winner. But I just like to prove to the guys in the jacked-up jeep that my yellow car and I are better. Because we are.

I like to drive on curvy back roads just when autumn is beginning to put Penn’s woods into a trance of yellow and orange.

I like to drive down the left-most lane of the highway with the windows all the way down, the music all the way up, sunglasses on, and flip flops off.

I like to drive in the snow and feel my tires slip just enough to freak me out, but not so much that my life is jeopardized.

I even like to sit in traffic because I’m sitting in MY car, a delightfully yellow car that I absolutely love….even when it gets stuck in snow.

 

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Light Reflectors

12 Jan

How many times have I driven past those two-inch-wide reflective markers on the curves of Route 100 and hardly noticed them?

Tonight I drove home in the snow. It was about 2 inches at the hotel when I left, and at home, the accumulation was already 4 inches. During one section of my drive home, there were no street lights. The windshield wiper blade was not getting all the snow off my window. And I could barely see more than 10-15 feet in front of my car. I tried to just follow the tire tracks in the unplowed road, but it was difficult to differentiate between the tire tracks that were ON the road and the tire tracks from the cars before me that had veered OFF the road.

What kept me on the road? The reflective markers. I could usually see one at a time. And as I would pass the one I could see, another one would blink its reflectiveness at me. From such reflective blinks, I found my way home.

It also helped that I was going about 20mph. (I only slid around once on a totally unplowed section of road that was an inclined curve. I’m blaming the road for that slip and letting my car off the hook.)

But I thought about those light reflectors.

They needed the light source of my headlights. But even my headlights could not reach very far.

This isn’t going to be a perfect analogy, but listen anyway! We are all like I was, driving with poor visibility and only reflective markers to guide me home. In life, our poor visibility is caused by our shortcomings, our lack of faith, or maybe just a trial that God has allowed in our lives. The headlights are like the light of God’s Word. It illumines our pathway, but not the whole path. Just the part that we must tread upon soonest. The reflective markers are the promises that God gives to us. But we won’t see those promises unless we “turn on” the light of God’s Word in our lives. Make sense?

whilom days

20 Dec

So much has changed this past week. Sincere insanity has descended, transpired, and ascended from my post in this household in just over a week’s time.

Slightly over a week ago was Sunday, December 12th. I awoke on a somewhat rainy morning and schlepped over to church. I had no car. I had taken no finals, nor studied for any. I had a rather dear friend whom I thought I’d have forever. I hadn’t even met a certain person who I am now friends with. Most of my Christmas gifts were in the mail or still unordered. I felt as though my life was, for lack of a better word, depressing. I wasn’t depressed, goodness no!! But I felt like I was spinning my wheels, being dragged downward, and just plain schlepping through life (betcha couldn’t tell I like that word!).

A whirlwind touched down on that very Sunday afternoon.

I went to look at a car that I ended up buying the next day. It is a wonderful, yellow car that will be getting its very own post someday. In Sunday School, I sat by a somewhat new girl and really hit it off with her. Who knew there was another Christian girl my age with such a passion for sewing AND coffee?! Over the course of a few days, aforementioned “rather dear friend” and I hashed out some issues, and I felt the need to sever the ties between us that were apparently based on lies. But there is peace in making a wise decision, despite the pain in the severance. By Friday, every last final was completed, including a drawing that I hope to frame sometime. I just need to do some more touch-ups to make it perfect. Furthermore, these were my finalest finals. I graduated yesterday, Sunday the 19th, with my Associate’s Degree in Fashion Design, which is super exciting! As of today, I’m only waiting for one last gift to arrive in the mail, and all that have arrived are wrapped and under the tree.

Today I feel and AM so different than a week ago. I’m still somewhat in shock of everything that has happened. Do I long for those whilom days of yesterweek? No. Because I am certain that all these changes are for the better, and I can only thank and praise God for those workings in my life. His thoughts are truly far above my thoughts, and His ways are most definitely far, far superior to my ways.

dehoped

2 Dec

One beautiful thing about the English language is the use of prefixes. And for that matter, suffixes as well.

Prefixes change the way the word begins. They set the tone for the rest of the word and can revolutionize the entire sentence. It is one thing for a person to be presented to an assembly of people. It is quite another to be represented to that same group of people. And yet what does “re” mean? It could mean “again” and it could also mean “in the place of.” (Another beauty of English: multiple meanings for one word/prefix/suffix/etc.)

To hope for something is an exhilarating thing. If I hope for a cherry tootsie pop and reach into the candy jar and pull out a box of raisins, I have been dehoped. (Here we see two beauties: a prefix and a made-up word that can be understood because of the simplicity of prefixes and root words.)

This past week, naaah, it’s been about a month, I’ve been constantly dehoped. I hoped for a car. I set a budget. I set my sights high and have since lowered them considerably. Still no car. Every time I get my hopes up, text/call/email a car seller, test drive a vehicle… I end up in the pit of dehopement (ah, the combined beauty of prefixes and suffixes).

I’m so over this car search saga. May it end before my minuscule amount of patience evaporates.

List versus Novel

21 Jun

For the primary reason of time constraints, list wins. So here goes.

– The radio ads for Netflix make me laugh. They are so random that they make me happy.

– A customer used the word “hence” in his dialogue with me. If I hadn’t already rung him up, I probably would have given him a discount out of pure impressedness.

– The absence of my family has prompted me to turn my house into a center of production, to be interrupted only by the occasional party.

– Speaking of which, I can’t wait for Wednesday.

– And I’m equally excited about Thursday.

– And Friday marks the end of my reign as household queen.

– I tried to access my online bank account and it said that I had to choose another Social Security number (aka customer ID) because mine was already in use. Believe you me when I say that I made good use of their “contact us form.

– My car didn’t pass inspection. Yet. There is still more June left in which to inspect it.

– My brother has a blog now. http://www.bensblackbox.blogspot.com/ I am curious to see how well he keeps it up when he has no African adventures about which to blog. If he’s anything like me, he’ll be horrible.

– Last night I said “boo” and scared a friend of mine so scarily that her “Afro was like whoa.” And I think I quoted her exactly.

– The big yellow one is the sun. –Brian Regan

– I recently decided to begin receiving the Word of the Day via text. Today’s word was “heliolatry,” hence the previous statement. It has no relativity to my life at this moment.

– The new owners of Pizza World are awesome. And their pizza quality is on the way up.

– I have bored my own self with this post, but it was more fun than working. Definitely a plus.

Okay so this became a novel anyways, but at least the chapters were short.