Tag Archives: the blog itself

100 is a big number

6 May

I can count to 100 in English, Spanish, and French. Most kindergarten children of average intelligence have learned to count to 100.

100 seconds is pretty short. But try holding your breath for 100 seconds going through a tunnel. Some can do it, others cheat. Either way, those 100 seconds seem to stretch endlessly.

In 100 minutes, you can drive from my hometown of Emmaus, PA, to the Newark airport, with just enough time to grab a coffee before getting stuck in line for security. I hope you’ll send me a postcard from wherever you’re going.

If you think staying awake for 100 hours is no small feat, then you’ve never been in my shoes preparing for a fashion show getting minimal sleep for 4 days. 4 days is a mere 96 hours, while 100 hours takes it to the next level: the fifth day of sleeplessness. I don’t recommend trying this without interspersed naps and superfluous caffeine.

100 days will take you from the shivery days of January to the windy days of April, and another 100 days will usher in the heat and humidity of July.

Not many people can boast of living for 100 years, but kudos to those who can. That’s big.

Andy Warhol’s One Hundred Cans

100 pennies will make a 5-year-old boy feel rich, and make his pockets all jingly.

$100 is enough to buy a nice coffee grinder, or yardages of exciting fabrics, or a sale-priced Coach purse, or an overpriced Walmart purse.

If $100 is mere pocket change to you, how about $100 thousand?! Still petty? Eh, I’d settle for $100 million. I mean, $1 million is impressive, but $100 million is 100 times better. Literally.

100% A+ is a big deal. Celebrate it, you smart cookie you.

Let’s pretend that Pongo is at the vet. We’ll take 100 humans, pair each human with each of the remaining 100 Dalmatians, and put them in a 100-square-yard balloon at the top of a 100-yard hill where the sun pelts down at 100 degrees. Get the balloon rolling down the hill at 100mph, and watch as they fly off the cliff and drown 100 leagues under the sea. Be prepared to answer questions by the 100 reporters who flood the scene, and hope you have a good alibi or 100 to clear your good name. (It was Pongo.) At some point in this fictional debacle, you might begin to grasp the magnanimity of 100.

100 is a big number.

So thank you for reading my 100th post. I thought it was a pretty big deal.

Advertisements

Back with a capital B

10 Mar

February is over. It happened so fast. On February 27th, I was packing a suitcase, making a list of things not to forget (which I ironically lost), and sewing a skirt. On February 28th, I was on a 7:25am plane to Wisconsin, then I was in Wisconsin, then I was taking a very necessary nap. Suddenly, on a day which should have been February 29th, March sprang upon me with its cold Wisconsin winds and an inaudible lion-like growl.

It is still March, though I am no longer in Wisconsin. I am Back with a capital B.

Since coming Back, I’ve accomplished quite a bit –

— I’ve Blown my nose so much that I’ve depleted a tissue box of its innards.

— I’m feeling Better now. I think I owe some of it to Airborne.

— I Bought 18.5 yards of fabric (at least) yesterday, so I can fill the orders I took while I was in Wisconsin.

— I Began the super-exciting process of making patterns for all the orders I took.

— I Befriended a few new guests at the hotel during the three days I’ve worked since my return.

— I Broke the “Control” key on my laptop . . . again.

— I Blogged with a capital B. Maybe later I’ll update this blog on the trip itself.

My blog is snowing

7 Dec

I just wanted to let you know before I forget.

Let it snow!

hardly

14 Nov

The following information is truly not even worth its status as a post. But I’m pretending to be bored, so here goes.

My blog, the actual physical location of it not just its syndications, used to have one page besides the home page. I have an “About” page. I recently rewrote it, and at this moment cannot remember what unnecessary details I decided to include. But I think I tried to make it funny in case anyone ever wonders anything about me and go there to find out.

This afternoon, I added a second page. It is called “Free!” and is a list of free things. You are welcome to partake and suggest any other freedoms to add.

And now for your humorous calculus story for the week. Upon being asked how many pieces of pizza he had consumed, my way-too-smart brother paused in thought then replied, “The derivative of 4x.” Which apparently equals 4. Now you know. Use that in conversation this week, and watch the jaws drop and the mental gaskets go ba-zoink.

just the facts

27 Sep

I’m always amused by my blog stats. Seeing the line graph of hits per day excites the mathematical side of me. And it’s fun to see which totally random auto websites are sending me spammish business. But the search terms are the best. Who really searches for these things? And for what purpose? And did my blog satisfy their pondering?

“how to make elephant”

“fun jacket lining boy”

“face of a mad man”

“your eyebrows are so amazing mountain”

“how to spell achoo”

“achoo…blame it on the rain!!”

“beef slaughter”

“emoticons with a nose are weird”

“oldest working slaughter house”

“квадратная кружка” <— True story. This is in Russian…something to do with a square mug.

“blank square pillows”

The absolutely most popular search that brings viewers to my blog is “Lindt,” leading them to this post from almost two years ago. I was curious to see how close to the top of the search results my blog currently is for “Lindt,” but I got tired of looking after scanning through six pages of results. So I don’t know how long ago it was that my blog was a top result for “Lindt.”

But my blog is the eighth result in a Google search for “achoo.” This could be classified as exciting!

My most popular post of all time is “Of postage stamps and politics,” which is from many, many searches for “trumploid,” which isn’t even a word. But at least I’m not the only one who thought it was spelled that way. See? I’m not the only one thus convoluted.

Fact: This entire post was written in a frenzy of procrastination.

Plinky

11 Jul

Plinky. Plinkying. Plinkied. Have Plinkied.

I don’t know why I feel the need to conjugate a word that is a noun. Not only a noun, but also an ox-goad of sorts. That is not to say that I am an ox. Nor does that imply that Plinky is the long stick with a sharpened end that is the definition of goad. It is simply to say that I blog infrequently and that such infrequency grieves me at my core. (Apple core, ok? My apple core is crying with great drops of apple juice.)

So I have set myself up with Plinky. I probably will not be necessarily posting every day, though prompts are issued every day. I might even have the audacity to dig in the Plinky archives to find topics about which I can write. Or I might read a prompt and promptly go off on a tangent. For example, the prompt could have to do with the sine of 1/2 and I could be off on the tangent of 3/5. Wow, that was randomly chosen out of my own personal broad expanse of topics to discuss.

You’ll be able to identify my Plinky posts because I will tag them with “Plinky.” K? The beauty of Plinky is that I can answer prompts with a full-length novel answer or a two-sentence answer. You can likely guess what I’ll tend towards.

Today’s prompt was about an awkward moment at school, written in third-person. This will be one of those days when I will not necessarily be posting. Even though this counts as a post.

Okay, you know at the beginning of Pixar films, the little light thing goes bouncing along and then squashes the “i” and then looks sheepishly out of the screen at you? I always crack up at that. Well, the Plinky logo reminds me of the Pixar light thing. Just another reason to Plinky!

stuffnessation

14 Oct

I just wrote an email to my sister with this same title. I would have loved to see her face full of confusion while she tried to pronounce it.

Anyway, back to the never-before-stated purpose of this post. How do you like my new blog? I previously used Windows Live Spaces (MSN) but was getting tired of how it would like contort what I was trying to do. (Not really, but I just like the word contort.) So after an evening of intense blog exploration (and a pleading email to RachH) I decided to use WordPress. Cuz like thinking futuristically, I may need a website for some kind of business I may possible start someday. Something like an alterations and custom clothing business. Like what I already do, but with business cards and a fancy-shmancy website. But we shall see, now shan’t we?

And I close with these words from my dear sister… “you REALLY need to get that blog up so everyone else can have as good of a day as i’m gonna have!!!”

So there! Have a day as good as Sarah’s gonna have!