Tag Archives: list

Anomalies.

1 Feb

Monopoly.

Au gratin.

Onomatopoeia.

Abnormally.

Origami.

Cacophony.

Apostrophe.

Saskatchewan.

Say them out loud. They’re fun to say, but not often used. Especially apostrophes. Which also irritate me. Those who can’t use apostrophes should be stripped of the privilege of internet usage.

I’m not normal. Perhaps you’ve noticed. That alone makes me an anomaly.

But wait…there’s more!

I’m not a morning person, but with my work schedule, I now have trouble staying up past 1am. If I’m not a morning person and I’m not a night person, am I even a person?

I’m not the 99%. I’m not even the 1%. I’m just 1 person, which makes me 100% myself. And compared to myself, I am totally normal.

But compared to all you weirdos, I’m an anomaly.

For example, I don’t drink alcohol…don’t even desire to.

Iridescent. 

I wear skirts like it’s the unbreakable rule, except the truth is that I really do it because I want to. It makes me feel pretty, and like most girls, I like to feel pretty.

I have had the same best friend for two decades, yet I’m only 23 years old. That’s because loyalty is my strong suit, and loyalty is my downfall. I hold on to people long after they’ve walked out of my life. I also hold on to receipts, almost-empty favorite lotions, and cell phone pictures of every wonderful meal I’ve ordered at restaurants.

The front door I walk through every time I go to work and return from shopping ventures is the same door my parents brought me through when I was a newborn. I haven’t moved. I haven’t moved out.

Misconstrue. 

I’m always right. Which means you can’t always be right. Unless you’re agreeing with me.

I rarely brush my hair. After it’s washed, I run my fingers through it a few times, and that’s it.

I go to church three times a week. That’s why I have every single Sunday off and why I don’t work on Wednesday nights.

Sometimes my brain sends me a picture of what I’m trying to say, instead of words. When I force words out anyway, they come out jumbled and I get really frustrated and stop talking.

Effervescence.

I wear polka dot knee socks with striped shirts. In public. And I smile to myself at the kindergarten girls who are jealous of my rockin’ style.

I make my bed every day. That way I know one thing in my room is neat.

I’ve never liked my thumbs and toes. Ever.

I don’t like compliments. I have a high enough opinion of myself that when someone tells me something nice, I feel like it’s boring and repetitious because I already knew that about myself.

Spontaneity.

I like to smell my hair. In fact, I switch up my shampoos and conditioners every day to spice things up.

I have a mole on the back of one of my ears. I didn’t discover it until I was a teenager. Seriously, who looks at the backs of their ears?

I drive stick shift and change my own oil, when the weather permits. Oh yeah, and I’m a girl. Girls are capable humans too.

Immensely.

I live in a bakery and I’m not obese.

I take daily multi-vitamins. They’re gummies. Because somewhere inside me is a five-year-old girl who is still completely infatuated with candy.

Regardless of my age and maturity level, I do not and will not like peas. Not by themselves. Not in soup. Not in mixed veggies. Only in the trashcan.

In order to stay hydrated, I drink flavored water. Often it is carbonated as well. Clear, tasteless water is for those who are more committed to hydration than I am.

Astronomically.

Inordinate.

Ricochet.

Serendipity.

Chasm.

Volatile.

Plethora.

Expand your vocabulary. One word at a time. Try one word a day.

Back with a capital B

10 Mar

February is over. It happened so fast. On February 27th, I was packing a suitcase, making a list of things not to forget (which I ironically lost), and sewing a skirt. On February 28th, I was on a 7:25am plane to Wisconsin, then I was in Wisconsin, then I was taking a very necessary nap. Suddenly, on a day which should have been February 29th, March sprang upon me with its cold Wisconsin winds and an inaudible lion-like growl.

It is still March, though I am no longer in Wisconsin. I am Back with a capital B.

Since coming Back, I’ve accomplished quite a bit –

— I’ve Blown my nose so much that I’ve depleted a tissue box of its innards.

— I’m feeling Better now. I think I owe some of it to Airborne.

— I Bought 18.5 yards of fabric (at least) yesterday, so I can fill the orders I took while I was in Wisconsin.

— I Began the super-exciting process of making patterns for all the orders I took.

— I Befriended a few new guests at the hotel during the three days I’ve worked since my return.

— I Broke the “Control” key on my laptop . . . again.

— I Blogged with a capital B. Maybe later I’ll update this blog on the trip itself.

30…31

30 Jan

As if 2011 didn’t already come too soon, January also had to end without fair-enough warning. At least I’ve kept busy. And there’s enough happening in my February to keep me so super-excited as to disregard the annoying speed with which January sped by. Happenings such as…

– going to a home basketball game for my brother’s team this coming Friday

teaching a design class to some ladies in my church

– finishing up some sewing/design projects that currently loom over my head

– visiting my sister in the blustery state of Wisconsin

missions month at our church, complete with missionaries and sure-to-be-great messages

– anti-Valentine’s Day celebrations

– after-Valentine’s Day chocolate sales

– pending leaps and bounds of progress on my sewing website

– starting an internship with the super-cool and lovable fashion designer, Pamela Ptak

– Oh, did I mention visiting my sister in Wisconsin?

It’s a lot to cram into the shortest month of the year. But I’m gonna make it work.

 

hardly

14 Nov

The following information is truly not even worth its status as a post. But I’m pretending to be bored, so here goes.

My blog, the actual physical location of it not just its syndications, used to have one page besides the home page. I have an “About” page. I recently rewrote it, and at this moment cannot remember what unnecessary details I decided to include. But I think I tried to make it funny in case anyone ever wonders anything about me and go there to find out.

This afternoon, I added a second page. It is called “Free!” and is a list of free things. You are welcome to partake and suggest any other freedoms to add.

And now for your humorous calculus story for the week. Upon being asked how many pieces of pizza he had consumed, my way-too-smart brother paused in thought then replied, “The derivative of 4x.” Which apparently equals 4. Now you know. Use that in conversation this week, and watch the jaws drop and the mental gaskets go ba-zoink.

things I’ll miss

5 Nov

Last night was my last-ever night to work at Dunkin’ Donuts. Despite all the things I’m happy to leave behind, there are actually quite a few things I’ll miss.

– free coffee for personal consumption

– artistically swirling whipped cream and drizzling caramel atop iced lattes

– being the first to find out about and try new flavors of coffee, new kinds of donuts, new sandwiches

– constant humor from coworkers who have yet to master English

(Look at the top of this picture. There is tape. This promotional poster was taped to the glass front door. That’s not a problem, right? Oh, but wait! What are those words all over the poster? “Remove to expose adhesive.” True story.)

– the regular customers whose drinks I make when I see their car pulling in

– the customers I’ve never seen before, to whom I can introduce all the positive things about our most expensive drinks (a good salesperson am I!)

– my coworker, Shoe, and the spicy Indian chip/bread called “papadi” that she makes for me

– getting tips just for having fun and joking around with customers

– coworkers who appreciate me enough to spell my name correctly on a balloon hanging from the ceiling

Fanfare for the Common Cold

4 Oct

It’s that time of year again, and I have fallen prey to a cold less than 24 hours ago. However, I am not one to give in so easily. Following are suggestions I have for eradicating such germs from my body. Even if they aren’t totally successful, at least they’re enjoyable.

– Drink lots of liquid. And I mean LOTS. My favorite sore throat teas are black licorice, rooibos, and lemon with extra, extra fresh-squeezed lemon. Room-temp or warmish water is better for you than jolting your throat with refrigerated water. Sports drinks (like Gatorade or Propel) are designed with nutrients and vitamins and delish flavors that will make you want to drink them. The soothingest of all, in my opinion, is chocolate milk. Feels so good! I buy a half gallon of it within hours of my feeling sick. Even if it doesn’t help, it’s nice to have an excuse to drink chocolate milk.

Salt. If you are insane and feeling deer-like, you can buy a salt lick. If you like to torture your already-painful throat, by all means, gargle with warm salt water. I prefer to eat smoked almonds, honey-roasted peanutspretzels of all shapes, chicken and stars soup, and Ritz crackers. Too much sweet stuff makes my stomach complain. But the salt lingers on the throat and helps it heal.

– Quality time in the sauna. This is just plain fun. And it helps the nasal cavities. Turn your bathroom into a sauna following these simple steps. Shut the window in the bathroom, turn on the heater, and prepare to take a super-steamy, oh-so-dreamy hot shower. Just ensure that no one is waiting to shower after you’re done because the water heater might need some recovery time. Breathe in the warm aqua vapors. They can do a body some serious good.

– Pamper yourself. You’re sick. Don’t pretend that you’re well. I am not condoning laziness. I think that you can get a lot done in between naps. Thirty minutes of shut-eye is a perfect power nap for me. Shorter or longer than that makes me groggy and non-functioning when I wake up. After a power nap, I can usually spend the next few hours getting a lot done, as long as I keep myself hydrated and my tummy is happy. Act like you’re fine, but acknowledge that you’re not.

– Stay cozy. Your body should spend its energy fighting off the mean germies, not trying to keep you warm. Put on the fuzzy socks, wear a hoodie, wrap yourself in a fuzzy blanket until you resemble a furry mermaid. And stay that way. You’re creating a plush lil habitat in which your warmed-up body can function at its peak anti-sickness state.

**This list is not endorsed by the National Get Well Soon Foundation, nor any other conglomeration of smart people. Use at your own risk. These tips have not been known to reschedule appointments with doctors or death itself. However, they are not forbidden by the Poison Control Center of any established colony of life forms, so you will likely not hasten the process of death.

Speaking of koalas…

2 Oct

…I have another totally random list of things pertaining to my life at this time.

– It’s so cold around here that I went out and bought several new secondhand long-sleeved shirts….only to come home and remember that I had a box full of them from last winter. I shall be well-clad this winter. If my memory lasts that long.

– Being a fan of Bath and Body Works on facebook pays off. I’ve gotten two free lotions so far. I am a lotion lover, I must admit. Current favorite (as of August) is B&BW’s Summer Vanilla Lemon. Second best ever! So far.

– Best ever lotion was B&BW’s True Blue Moroccan Sweet Fig and Argan Oil lotion. Sadly, I didn’t discover it till it was on clearance. Happily, it was on 75%-off clearance, so I bought four bottles for the original price of one.


– My sister almost burnt down the state of Wisconsin while making popcorn. Hilarious. And exaggerated. I think there was just smoke.

– My best friend is coming back to PA for a few weeks in a few weeks. We’ve got plans for while she’s back. Mostly movies and talking and coffee and laughing and packing and figuring out how she can be here AND in South Africa at the same time.

– Dunkin Donuts has sold bagel twists for several months. Now we also sell dipping sauces with the twists. My favorite dippers for the sauces are untwisted bagels though! Crunchy-toasted poppyseed bagel for the honey mustard sauce. Everything bagel for the ranch sauce. Wheat bagel (and most others actually) for the marinara sauce. Insane amount of carbs, I’m sure.

– I smashed two of my fingers between a 30-lb. box of coffee beans and a metal counter. Probably wouldn’t have been so painful if I hadn’t slammed the box down with energetic fury.

– The word of today is mussitate. From the same root word as mutter. It’s speaking without vocal chords. Mouthing words. It’s what makes “elephant juice” sound like “I love you.”


– Pizza World is gone. And I want to go to the new Mexican restaurant that took its place.

Happy October 2nd! This is what guarantees that my best friend and I talk at least once a month: to wish each other a happy second! It’s usually a contest that she always wins because she lives 6 time zones ahead of me in South Africa. But while she was in the states this past year, there were a few times that I actually wished it upon her first. So have a happy second!

Elephant juice, blog readers! May the liquid content of large mammals be good to you!