Diatribe to Hurricanes, and Advice for the Rest of Us

27 Oct

If you are a hurricane and reading this, please stop. We can’t be friends if you remain all hurricane-y. Simmer down, stop acting all maniacally, and just be the sweet li’l fall breeze we’d all love to have around.

If you are not a hurricane, that doesn’t automatically mean we can be friends, but it’s a really good start.

I’m not very experienced when it comes to hurricanes, and it’s been months (at best) since I actually sat down and watched the Weather Channel. However, to my guests at the hotel, I have the final word when it comes to what this storm will bring to our humble northeast region. I told one guy that if I knew what the storm would be like, I’d be a millionaire because I could tell the future. Another guy asked if I thought he should stay in his hotel room all week. One lady flipped out at my coworker, who was unable to predict whether or not we would have power throughout the storm. We’re amazing, but we’re not THAT amazing.

Last year about this time, we were experiencing the second of two terrible storms. The first was Hurricane Irene in August, which literally washed away many of our belongings as our basement filled with water. The second was Snowpocolypse, the white storm that downed trees and froze Jack-O-Lanterns all over this lovely region, resulting in enormous amounts of power outages.

The main difference that I’ve noticed between this storm and last year’s storms is this: people are freaking out waaaay more and are thus more prepared. I guess the memory of last year’s storms are still very vivid. Example: Last year lots of local people were calling up my hotel the day the lost power, wondering if they could book a room that had heat; this year the locals are booking in advance and expecting us to know if we will retain power or not. One positive note is that the power companies seem far more prepared as well; as I was leaving the hotel, I saw at least 10 big humongous trucks from power companies parked in our lot. They came from out of town to help our wonderful town. How kind.

Before a big storm (snow or otherwise), everyone buys the standard essentials: bread, milk,  and eggs. That’s perfect if you want milk with which to wash down your French toast every morning of every single storm. Because I am more creative, I instead purchased bacon, coffee, and jelly beans. I recommend that sugary, greasy, caffeinated combo. Also, I hear most places are out of the “essentials” anyways.

Oh, and buy a generator a few weeks before the storm. It’s too late now, they’re sold out. Lesson: plan ahead next time.

Yes, I think we’ll get rain when Sandy comes to town. And wind. And snow, if Sandy has a run-in with the cold front. And tornadoes if Sandy’s middle name is Dorothy. And sandstorms if Sandy wants to stay true to her name. But I really hope she’s just plain ol’ no-middle-name Sandy who wishes her name was actually Staycalmanddrinksomecoffee.

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One Response to “Diatribe to Hurricanes, and Advice for the Rest of Us”

  1. Cassie Gruber November 27, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

    Hey Amanda! :) Cassie Gruber here. I was so excited when I came across your blog! Had fun reading your posts :) We miss you guys!

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